Thursday, July 05, 2007
Misperception: Superiority Of The Hearing
Some deaf adults become perpetual victims due to their own misperceptions that the hearing are superior to them.
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Some deaf adults become perpetual victims due to their own misperceptions that the hearing are superior to them.
By Matt Daigle
By Banjo
Elaine Ernst Schneider (lessontutor.com)
About Me
- Cy
- Educated by SimCom generation. Deaf parents. Deaf husband. Two hearing KODAs.
My Canine Children
Gay, 16, a Yorkshire Terrier. She is showing her age now. Slowing down, sleeping a lot.
Lexi, 5, a White Boxer. No, she is not albino. She has brown eyes. She is a distinct member of the Boxer family that has excessive white skin pigmentation.
My Human Children
Wes, 15. First time he ever dressed up!
Garth, 16. A rebel without a cause.
One more child...
My spouse of 17 years.
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27 comments:
Yes, you're correct! My parents are like that...putting a complete confidence in any hearing person, thinking he or she is accurate. We need to remind many people that interpreters are human, too. There's always a time lag during interpretation, and it's very important to be aware about it and to question information given, not assuming that you will be told at another time. We need to educate ourselves not to rely on relatives for medical services and demanding top notch interpreters.
In another situation within my family: Both my uncle and aunt relied on my cousin as their interpreter during the process of divorce. They both thought he was on their side during the process. It was really bad because he and his family are deeply affected now...especially in his old age.
Great vlog :)
Tayler,
Thanks. :)
Carl,
Worse, I know a CODA who interpreted her parents' divorce when she was 12! That left her with deep scars. I am astounded that the court, especially the judge, would allow her to interpret being a relative of both sides plus her age. My god!
Sadly, that happens all the time, even today.
Cy, you are right that I see how much deaf people depend on thier parents to vist dr and etc. so I almost never depend on my parents who are hearing because that is easy for us getting misunderstand so I went to vist drs and etc myself sometimes an inpterents and I have a hearing son myself and dont let him to do anything with me because I wanted him to be normal childhood and he sometimes feel like inpterent for me like simple stuffs but not dr and etc. they wanted my son to do that for me. I said *NO* so I noticed that deaf parents depend on hearing children *POOR Child* I want to know why they depend on coda children?
*nods vigorously*
Very sad. For one thing, the aunt is a relative and in such situations it is best not to involve people close to the patient. It probably is not just a generational thing but also an educational (specifically, lack of education) thing?
Thank goodness I have been taught by my hearing mother to be independent (O.K., it is also a personality trait of mine, but it was encouraged!) and not rely on her for interpreting. I know you tried to teach your mother that. At least, perhaps you will teach others who view your vlog.
Anonymous,
Thanks for bringing up codas. I am doing a sequel featuring codas! wink.
Whew, a rude awakening. Good thing you intervene.
Cy,
I cannot agree more. Carl and
other commenters also say it
all.
I wish generations before ours
would have been much more
demanding for interpreters.
My mother was told to have
ulcers but it was cancer.
It was a big blow to me.
If I were not provided an
interpreter, I would in no
time flat out file a lawsuit, period.
I hope over 500 people will
read your post and spread
the word to their relatives.
Thank you, Cy, for sharing
your story about your dear
mother.
Jean,
Yes, I've wondered why people from the earlier part of last century did not demand for more, and I suspect it is due to the misperception that the hearing were superior to them and they never questioned their audistic approach.
Mike,
I don't think I intervened enough. I think if I had, my mother would have been with me longer and be a grandmother to both of my boys. She died when my older son was 10 months old and I was pregnant with my younger son. I've always felt I did not intervene enough.
Yes, I have trouble with the number of those people who do not know how to ask many question but they call me troublemaker! I agree there is no hearing is superiority over me or Deaf people! I often question many things to make sure I understand everything before I can make up my mind! I do believe in asking many question to make sure that anyone can benefit from that. Being a troublemaker that is very interest question. Of course in our generation like you have much more aware of anything that matter to you or me. I agree with you, there is no superiority of most hearing. I know number of them do keep to try to hide half way! My brother does but I do not let him control everything it is me who can decide or not! It is up to me, not him!
Cy,
Thank you for bringing up this important revelation...like drmzzz say "a rude awakening"...important topic too to discourse to keep freeing ourselves as well as our older folks and younger ones too from dysconscious audism. I myself am seeing this happen to a young Deaf couple with a Deaf baby "listening" more to hearing parents of one of the couple than the Deaf parents of the other who are much more educated and well versed in the Deaf world as well as the world in general... I grieve for the Deaf baby picking up audistic messages that just because a person is hearing, it's "automatically true" that person knows more. Therefore the Deaf child picks up messages that he will never come up to or be better than hearing people no matter what education, degree, achievement he gets. Heart wrenching. Makes me pissed off.
Mind you, I am aware that it's important and delightful for the Deaf child to get to know his hearing grandparents and have as good a relationship as normally as possible... but to have the hearing parent accompany the baby to every doctor appointment, to pass judgement (based on fears) as "authority" upon the Deaf parents who seem to be powerless against their own dysconscious audism to make their own judgements, etc. makes me extremely frustrated and uncomfortable.
Look forward to more open discussion on topics like this! Thanks.
Funny you mentioned, I know someone being intervened on this kind of situation right now. She has not been doing for many years because she had confidence in hearing relative.
Need to stand on her own and get all information as much as possible for her future.
Thank you for sharing a good story!
Wow, a good way to show how important to have interpreter.
When I was younger, my mother would go with me to my appointments. She would always say no worry about get an interpreter. Too much work but as I got older and went on my own, I never realized there was more to my condition than I was told because an interpreter gave me so much more room to ask questions and get more information. It was when I finally understood more about my condition and never knew some of the things until then. When I went with my mother, she would just talk with the doctor and say that she will tell me later what they talked about. Later when we had a chance to talk, she would just give a very short explanation. Too late for me to ask questions that moment. I used to assume that they knew what they were talking about so I trusted them with the information. But now I know different.
About "hearing is better", yes, I have seen that happen that it just makes me want to pull out my hair and scream! When I discuss with some people who have that way of thinking about an idea or project, their answer would be, "Well, better ask hearing to see what they think." Another situation was when they were trying to understand some words and the teacher who was deaf is a very good reader and writer could help but they chose not to rely on him and focused on one hearing person in the room to ask what it meant. Sigh!
Shows the results of oppression and how it can get into our thoughts to form ideas of how things should be.
It should be noted that deaf people can overcome their inferiority complex by educating themselves to the utmost degree.
Stop blaming hearing people and start taking responsibility for yourself. Only YOU can possess the desire to learn and learn well.
Too many deaf people are illiterate idiots, depending on everyone else - including interpreters, deaf idiots and deaf teachers - for understanding the world in general. It is they who promote the inferiority complex - not hearing people, even though hearing people tend to be ignorant about deaf people in general.
Cy, we do feel guilty if we should had done enuff for ailing family members. Ultimately, it's not our fault. There are life conditions that we cannot control. We can only offer emotional and moral support or like you did, manipulate oneself into the process. Like u suggested, using neutral personnel like an interpreter to channel information. But yes, some deaf adults can help the process for patient better too cuz they care. Some hearing family members care too. I think some hearies tend to withhold info to avoid upsetting the person. Deaf offers more direct approach.
Hi Cy! Yes same happened to my friend who was very sick. She always depend on friend who know to speak with hearing. They always went to see her doctor to explain to her about her liver cancer. But her friend always asked doctor about health just leave her out and some time they misunderstand for each other. I told my friend that she should have an interpreter for her not friend. She realized that worth to understand about everything so she needed to know it's serious about liver cancer. She was so glad that have an interpreter every time for an appointment. She said thank to me, sad... she passed away last December.
Ella,
Dysconscious audism! Thanks for bringing to us a new word. I racked my brain to find what word fits my topic and I could only come up with "mispercepted superiority." Always learn somethinhg new from you, Ella. Thanks.
And yes, I worked as a mentor briefly for ECE program (Early Childhood Education) and I also made observations that the hearing parents tend to inquire hearing staff over us Deaf mentors. Sad!
Mike,
Sigh! Yes, I know some things are beyond my control. I just did not think I did enough. I feel I should've shoved my aunt aside and gone to appointments with my mom in the beginning and possibly shifted the path of her future. It is illogical, I know, but its just what I feel. Guilt, I guess.
Jessica,
Funny you brought up the subject of student asking the meaning of word to a hearing teacher over the deaf...where I work, deaf teachers now outnumber the hearing. There was an English teacher next door who is deaf, and he used to come to my room to collaborate on some words, and that set good example to the students seeing that he did not go across the hall to the hearing English teacher to collaborate. Ever since, they go to the deaf English teacher or come to me. I'm thrilled. :) We need to set examples to remove the dysconcsious audism - Ella's new word.
Anonymous,
I was not discussing inferiority complex. Look up to Ella's comment. Inferiority complex means not confident about oneself, not confident about one's decisions, beliefs, etc. This is about believing that the hearing are superior to us just because they are hearing, so we listen without question to them.
Aidan and Judge
Thanks. :)
Deaf Socrates,
Yes, I notice that some deaf people think it is rude to ask too many question to hearing people. I wonder where they pick up that idea?? Some think asking too many questions is an indicator how stupid you are and to them it is embarrassing.
Anonymous,
Sorry about your friend's death from liver cancer. Going with a friend?? I wonder why they don't ask for interpreter? Going to appointments with friends is a loss of privacy and confidentiality plus 3rd party information. WOnder why they think friend is better than interpreter. My only speculation is friends are more comforting than interpreters.
My apology... I had to correct something in my comment.. Smile..
Aidan Mack said...
Cy:
I am sorry about your mother. it touched my heart. Thank you for sharing your personal experience with us.
It is important for Deaf people to develop "self-trust". They were being brainwashed by the system that hearies knows better than Deaf people. It is not great way to build self confidence. Once we don't have "self-trust", then how we can trust each other?
Again, Thank you for your time...
Aidan
That would depend on person. As for me, I grew up mom come interpreter for me, especially doctor appts because I don't like getting a interpreter because this is very personal and don't feel comfortable with interpreter know about my personal thing even though they have rules. Anyway, my mom tell me what Dr. says and when I got married to a hearing man, he come to interpreter for me sometime I go to dr alone, sometime with husband and he tell me what Dr. says too and there are few times when I have feeling things are not right even though what Dr. told me so I went home and research on it and made decision what to do next with my problem and my husband support my decision too. I was in control not mom or husband. So I think it depends on situation.
Hi, i am sorry to hear about your loss. You tried your best.
We have to trust our instincts, be armed with lots of knowledge and information, be in tune with whats happening in this world and all that. This way, we are more empowered and can have better access in making decisions that are good for us.
Often times i would hear that deafies would bring a trusted hearing person when they were looking for a house or a car. I asked them why. They said that hearing people can tell by the voice and let the deafies know if the seller is being honest and geniune. How can a hearing person discern if a seller is telling the truth by their voice? I dont think so cuz many hearies have been ripped off by sellers.
So we should not go by this kind of thinking.
Anonymous
I am concerned you put too much trust in your mother and in your husband when you go see your doctor. They cannot remember everything what the doctor told them and may interpret what they say wrong to you. Researching yourself will only provide you with partial information. I think you need to overcome your discomfort and mistrust in interpreters. Do you live in a small town where you know the interpreters around the town?
Yes, doctor visits are personal but it is YOUR life, and you need to know everything what your doctor says, and not to put too much trust in your mother and husband. Yes, they both love you, but they are not neutral or impartial party - they are biased party and could have unintentional sense of protecting you from knowing everything, as was what happened with my mother. My aunt didnt tell my mother she would never get better because she felt it would harm my mom. That was wrong. Mom got confused and wondered why she hadn't been better for 3 years. She struggled and wanted to get better, and all along, unknown to herself, her disease was not curable. That was unethical of her sister to withhold the information from her.
Michelle,
Right on . Many deaf people put too much value in the hearing's opinion - as if they could tell they are being honest?? Where did they get that from?? Right - many hearing get ripped off themselves! We need to strengthen our logical skills and plain common sense.
Want to make sure proper reference is made about "dysconscious audism". It isn't my term. It was coined by Dr. Genie Gertz in her dissertation. An important term for us Deaf people to understand to further ourselves on our Deafhood journeys.
I don't think you understood what I was trying to say, when my mom or husband come to interpreter, they still tell me the bad news even when I go to dr alone with pen and paper, I still hear bad news plus good news how to fix the problem. There were one time in my teen year that dr. told my mom bad news and mom told me right away, she did not keep it from me. I just listen to what dr. say and make decision myself. If I get a interpreter, it would be same thing in my situation. I understand deaf people have to be careful who they put full confedence in. I don't put full confedence in my own dr. either I do my own research and make decision how to help myself improve with problem I have, etc.. most time I agree with dr. what is right thing to do but sometime I feel I should go different path so I do research then discuss with doctor, she have agree with my decision before. I would say it depends, I have heard of doctor keep some issue away from patients before, so we can't put a complete confiedence in Dr. either! I have heard of Dr. who will suggest surgery when it's not necessary, they just look for a easy way out when we can fix it without surgery. So we got to do our own research.
Ella,
Thanks for clarifying that dysconscious audism is Gertie Gertz's coined termology. I am not familiar with her work as I've n ever attended any Deafhood workshops.
Still, you brought the word into my blog and Deafread for us to be exposed to the word, and I still thank you. :)
Anonymous,
Well, if you feel confident in your mother or husband and feel they do better than the interpreter because you feel doctor appointments are just too personal to involve a 3rd party stranger, it's your decision.
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