Friday, July 06, 2007
Paper and Pen
Carrying a pad of paper and a pen solve our communication dilemmas when we go out in the public without resorting to using our KODAs.
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Carrying a pad of paper and a pen solve our communication dilemmas when we go out in the public without resorting to using our KODAs.
By Matt Daigle
By Banjo
Elaine Ernst Schneider (lessontutor.com)
About Me
- Cy
- Educated by SimCom generation. Deaf parents. Deaf husband. Two hearing KODAs.
My Canine Children
Gay, 16, a Yorkshire Terrier. She is showing her age now. Slowing down, sleeping a lot.
Lexi, 5, a White Boxer. No, she is not albino. She has brown eyes. She is a distinct member of the Boxer family that has excessive white skin pigmentation.
My Human Children
Wes, 15. First time he ever dressed up!
Garth, 16. A rebel without a cause.
One more child...
My spouse of 17 years.
Deafread - Best of Deaf Blogs
Best Reading: My Literacy Circle
- The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time by Mark Haddon
- Snowflower and The Secret Fan by Lisa See
- Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
- The Darwin Awards Series by Wendy Northcutt
Comic Of The Day
27 comments:
I always have my own best pen with me all the time to write to get what I want. Hey what kind of pen do you love to use? Mine is Zebra .07 mm fine point. Another one is a mild purple fine point.
http://grantlairdjr.com/wp/2007/03/11/do-you-still-use-your-children-as-interpreter/
Check my vlog link above -- I did discussed about it few months ago. We did managed all these years....
gwlj
Hey Well Deaf people would bring own pen and paper and Hearing people would be same ,too because DEAF use own ASL and write himself/herself and Hearing use voice and have to write his/her own pen and paper like eye/voice itself!! Dont let hearing people control over DEAF/HOH anytime and It siund nice fair system but no one predict if Hearing still not understand DEAF things because They did not step into DEAF CLUB!!!
I dont have children myself. But I think once in a while its okay for simple like restaurant like your situation. Only if your children volunteer to do it. I wont ask them, or use them for complication situation like medical, phone calls. But for basic little thing only if child volunteer. Sometime it can give them experience or taste of doing it. Who knows in future they want become professional interpreter or work in deaf world. Also, not to use them TOO OFTEN.
Paper & Pen we call that Deaf Kit.
Yes, We should carry deaf kit at all time. It would be resolved with social.
Thank you for vlog with this issues, John Wehrli
I agree... I always carry pen and pads in my purse to write coummunation with hearing people. I don't want to use my kids as interpeter and it's not their duty. it's my duty to coummunation with hearing people.
Or sidekick would do handy. Sidekick or any pager is a nice gadget to have, tho. Hearies will be impressed how advanced we are with them, using it for many purposes.
I agree with you. We use Paper and Pen all the time with all our life.
Thank you for speaking up.
Mule
Hearing need pen and paper to communicate with who? It is not a matter of leveling the playing field with the hearing - it is about us making hearing go get paper and pen when it is really our responsiblity to bring them along with us.
Grant Laird,
Sorry to steal your thunder! :(
Anne Marie,
I love gel pens! Colorful and metallatic gel pens. Guess I am a kid at heart. I use fine point like yours for scrapbooking as they make room for small print and are readable in small prints. Mostly, I grab any old BIC ballpoints if I need to write something and usually on napkins! LOL. I really need to carry a pad of paper and pen - I think I will buy a hot pink gel pen. HEHEH.
John W
"Deaf Kit." Cool slang. Like it.
Chuck
Ah, yes I keep forgetting about our handy SKs and BBs. I own a BB and how come I never think to use it?? Guess my mind is still in pre-PDA era.
I usually use my blackberry's memo to communicate. Then the hearie will find something to communicate back. It works well!
Many hearing people have stolen my pen virtually all my life! They would forget to return after reading my paper and taking my pen to reply! No exaggeration.
"My pen, please. It is my voice," I would gently say to some absent-minded hearing people, mostly men.
I should have counted how many pens I have bought per year and
reported to the IRS with a note,
"It is expensive to be deaf." :=)
Judge,
You're still in a communication dilemma since your hearing counterpart can't communicate with you when you use your PDA - unless you're willing to hand over your PDA to him/her, trusting him/her not to run away with it! Paper and pen solves that - you can communicate back and forth on the paper.
Jean,
Oh, yes. We ought itemize and file on our pens with the IRS! I have to admit to being guilty of that - absent - mindedly taking pens from public places after asking for them!
Even there are fragrant pens that strike good scent of hmmr?
Its a good idea if deaf parents can talk to their hearing children about interpreting. Explain to them that they do not have to feel obliged to interpret, they may face situations when a hearing person may tell them what to say, and all that. They dont have to feel pressurized.
Many hearies tend to "push" hearing children to interpret. They will say, "please tell your mom i said so and so". It puts the child in an awkward situation. They can also act as if they are deaf - my kids have acted like they were deaf to literally force the hearing person to write to us. They dont tell them that they are deaf, they just dont say anything.
Its a tactic they can use.
Michelle,
My younger son does that - acting deaf. :)
Anne Marie
No fragant pens for me...gives me headaches.
Do the deaf school have the proper training to the deaf children to prepare a pen and paper when they are out of the world? Or its parents' job to teach deaf children to be more responsible to have a pen and paper at all times? Who will teach the deaf children? Parents? Deaf Parents? Deaf Educators? Life Skills teachers?
Interested! I do not carry pen and paper with me most of the time. As a consumer I would communicate in ASl, They would say OH! they say to me they are sorry and hold please they get pen and paper to communicate with me as a consumer when I order something to eat. I find it works fine! Let them know that I am Deaf when I sign to them! Pen and Paper might be useful for some reasons, I choose signing to them. That is my choice!
Great vlog. Most of the time I didn't want my sons to interpret for me because they didn't give me enough details. Sometime the doctors, new car salesperson and coaches used them. Its made them grow up too fast. I have always taken my pen and paper with me where ever I go.
Chuck,
I forgot that our pagers would do handy but I'm glad I did because I would not let anyone with their "potty" hands use my pager.
Deaf Socrates,
That's the point I was making...you making hearing people go look for pen and paper FOR YOU. It doesnt matter how you communicate to them that you are deaf by using ASL - I do, too. But why should THEY go get pen and paper FOR YOU? Why not YOU bring paper and pen with you so you can communicate with them what you need? It is not THEIR responsiblity to go get pen and paper for you. They are not deaf. You are.
We are acting like it is their responsiblity and trying to avenge our deafness by putting this burden on them.
Jana,
Good point. WHO should teach deaf kids their roles in the hearing world? What are the manners? What approach to take. How to handle communication dilemmas. How to handle irate people when they are faced with having to deal with deaf customers or consumers.
Parents? That should be their job, normally, but for deaf children, it is different. Hearing parents don't have that kind of experience or insight in what it is like being deaf in a world of hearing. I think it is the responsilbity of the school to teach survival tools.
I think all schools should have life skill course. Most of time they only cover management for budget, banking, home care, cooking, hygiene, etc. I think life skills should expand to how to behave in public and communication tools such as "Deaf Kit" as John W coined it.
Cy, oh well If I go to order fast food so pad/pen should be with me but I go to spical place like store or somewhere hearie try to offer me they should bring pen/pad with them not mine. Police chase you for speed should i have pen/pad withme or police? is that my job or thier job for ticket? if hearie asked me something what they want to look for should i bring pen/pad with me? or they should do? that seem unfair that deafies always bring pen/pad in thier life time. One time I have pen/pad for my job to communtion with my team and boss so I wander around the store then hear person asked me what they need something so I told that person that i am deaf and a person said oh never mind that is rude why cannot they bring pen/pad with them in case?
Cy,I dont think that cops beaf up with deafies over communation and I think that cops look at how depend deafies behave.I have no problem with cops if I let cops know that I am deaf and cops sometimes let me hop in cops car and use computer.it depend how I behave toward cops but some cops are hardhead that would be my problem.I see how cops beat up with black people is that problem with communation? no! that is thier behavior problem or cops can be blackhater and cops beat couple of teenager who rode skakeborads is that problem with communation? no! I think that teenagers behaviors problem toward cops. There is no reason to get uptight with cops
Anonymous,
There was a case in Minnesota where a man named Doug Bahl got beaten up because the cop did not understand his gestures for pen and paper and interpreted his action as hostile. The cop maced him and beat up his face. Doug Bahl is suing the police department over the incident. Doug Bahl is a white man in his 50s, a college professor.
Yes, there could be hate crime involved, especially with blacks and teenagers, but there ARE cops who just don 't have any patience with small details and get flustered, irritated and angry when the deaf try to communicate with them in a way they don't understand. They want their jobs get over with - they want to issue the ticket and be on their way, and asking for pen and paper make things difficult on the cops who are not understanding what they are saying and they get agitiated.
By simply carrying pen and paper with you would solve everything. My dad got pulled over by a cop once. He waited until the cop came to his window. My dad pointed to his paper and pen in his shirt pocket and took them out to hand them over to the cop. The cop instantly understood and wrote that his taillight was out. Simple thing. If my dad didn't have pen and paper, I can imagine the cop getting frustrated needing to tell my dad about a simple thing as a broken taillight. Not worth to upset the cop. I got pulled over several times myself and I always keep paper and pen in the glove compartment. When I am asked for my registration, I go to glove to get it and grab my paper and pen. I never had a single problem communicating with cops thanks to the paper and pen I keep in my glove compartment.
Anonymous,
It is not hearing's fault you are deaf and need pen and paper to communicate therefore your responsiblity. It is not their duty to get paper and pen FOR YOU. They don't need pen or paper to communicate - you do. Pen and paper comes VERY handy if you get pulled over by a cop. They get VERY frustruated when you try to gesture you are deaf anf need paper and pen. Some cops are gesture deficient. If you have pen and paper ready, you just write down you are deaf and it will solve everything anhd save your relationship with the cop. If you read Ridorlive, you will know the stories involving cops beating, arresting people because they could not communicate to cops that they need paper and and pen to communicate and want to request an interpreter.
Paper and pen is not hard to carry. Just get a small notepad - mini size, shirt pocket sized with a pen. My dad carried them his whole life.
Cy,
Dr. Garretson, educator and special vice president at Gallaudet, said in 1976 that children, deaf or hearing, receive 90% of education at home and 10% at school. It means that hearing parents are responsible to teach their deaf children to use PP (paper and pen). They must teach them how to call 911 via a pager or TTY because I have seen some hearing children save the lives of their parents and siblings.
Jean
I agree parents SHOULD teach children but I think most parents would rather encourage them to speak and refrain from using paper and pen because that would reveal or exhibit their disability and most parents are loathe to promote that.
I have that poster somewhere, "Children do 85% of their learning outside the classroom." I think this is more true for hearing children but deaf children have more limited access to the world outside so it is up to the educators to help them be independent and give them survival tools. A lot of parents don't know what tools to give to their deaf children to survive as productive and indepedent adults.
I went to bowling on a field trip with my middle school kids last May. I was AMAZED NONE of them knew how to use paper and pen. They hit a dilemma at the bowling snack bar where they wanted to order but they did mot have a menu and it was hard to point to the neon sign above. They asked other kids if they could speak. Three of us deaf teachers stood there, amazed. We bellowed, "What is wrong with paper and pen????" They went "gosh" and said they never thought of paper and pen. We teachers were astounded. One of us could speak but he wouldn't - he went and wrote down his order, and the kids followed suit.
They are in the habit of having their parents ORDER for them - when they were on their own, they were at a loss. Their parents don't teach them to use paper and pen - they simply order for them.
I never really had this problem since I can communicate fine most of time as I'm HOH. But, growing up, My deaf parents relied on me for communication. I've become an expert on that. However, I've always told my kids to never interpret for my husband or myself unless it's urgent. So...my kids are aware of it. Usually when my husband goes to store or other public place, our kids will watch intentenly at the hearing person and their dad to see if communication is smooth or not...but they always initially back off. THey know their dad will whip out paper and pen if needed. They enjoyed watching it cuz there were some awkward moments on the part of hearing person. My kids will make sure nothing goes wrong and if so, they will step in and admonish the hearing if need be. But, usually they back off and let their dad (who can't hear at all) do his thing. Sometimes he signs without using paper or pen and I had to hold my laugh...but suprisingly, most hearings manage to figure it out. So, I tend to keep my mouth shut and let him do his thing even tho i could have spoken for him.
Also on your previous post about doctor offices. Yes..I agree. My husband has interpeter at his appointment, he gets better feedback than using me as his "terp". And it's less stressful for us both. Family members should never terp for another family members, no matter what. Unless..its a different situation and urgent or whatever.
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