Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Which Type Is Your CODA?
Which type of CODA is your child? Each type is shaped by several facets of familial and relationship dynamics of the deaf parent-hearing child.
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Which type of CODA is your child? Each type is shaped by several facets of familial and relationship dynamics of the deaf parent-hearing child.
By Matt Daigle
By Banjo
Elaine Ernst Schneider (lessontutor.com)
About Me
- Cy
- Educated by SimCom generation. Deaf parents. Deaf husband. Two hearing KODAs.
My Canine Children
Gay, 16, a Yorkshire Terrier. She is showing her age now. Slowing down, sleeping a lot.
Lexi, 5, a White Boxer. No, she is not albino. She has brown eyes. She is a distinct member of the Boxer family that has excessive white skin pigmentation.
My Human Children
Wes, 15. First time he ever dressed up!
Garth, 16. A rebel without a cause.
One more child...
My spouse of 17 years.
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16 comments:
Interesting! My mother would be C as a PODA (hearing parent of a deaf child?). Only recently has she expressed a desire to be a B, to be able to communicate with OTHER deaf people. She wants me to teach her a couple of signs twice a week or so (at her age she reckons that is what she is capable of). I am not sure this is the best approach; should she take ASL classes (she uses a combo of SEE, fingerspelling, and a smattering of odd signs that are probably home signs - I have no idea as I do not have excellent memory of my early childhood)? I explained to her that it just is not a matter of learning the correct sign but also learning the grammar and syntax. Then again, it could be helpful.
I do wonder if there are CODAs belonging to C and D that have the same desire as my mother? It is also interesting that sometimes CODA siblings could have different levels of facility with ASL! Have you noticed that? Like one just absorbs ASL like a sponge while the other is probably too aural to be good at ASL.
This must have been a challenge for the hearing husband to resist using voice. I am impressed too.
In response
Good post!!! I have also wondered that.
I have a friend and their CODAs seems to finger spells alot in English word order. Sometimes the parents look at me and smile and have to translate becuase I must look bored or confused. Both parents are deaf and sign ASL. I guess in the back of my mind I wondered why. I also notice the parents voicing more with the child.
I have also wondered why many children especially the second child is weaker in ASL. Do the older children speak up more? I think if the parents forced ASL the children would be more fluent.
Perhaps you can give me some insight. So when I have my children they will be have strong language skills.
Hi Cy,
Yes ASL is an important critical aspect of the future. I agree with your categories, I am probably a low A to strong B category. People tell me all the time, they think I am Deaf, but when I compare my skills with other CODAs, I am floored to their talent.
I will aslo add another category, while you said the last category is finger spelling most of the time and oral. There are children that don't even fingerspell, all mostly oral. Perhaps this is the same category.
I know there are generation differences, years ago ASL not being recognized. But I would also have people consider those Deaf parents, they got their traits from their upbringing. Some of them for whatever reason may not see signing as a good thing. They are told by their relatives what to do, and the hearing relatives don't always have the answers.
Also there could be 2 categories in the same family. I am a strong signer, but my brother is not. He is average I guess. I am the oldest and because I was always fascinated with the language and due to my duties as helping my parents, I am in a different signing category.
I love your challenge! Sign to your children! Hearing families are signing with their babies in the infant years to avoid frustration, it's a shame that the educators of oralism don't share that same view.
Thanks for pointing out the differences in CODAs as well as families. We are all different, which makes the stories all the more interesting.
Coda to me, will always simply be; having a common bond with someone that I don't have to explain.
There is more I want to comment on, but I have to research the exact language first, but it goes back to a CODA, named Bob Hoffmeister. He discusses that Deaf parents and their Codas are "one generation thick". I'll post more on that later, or perhaps make it a vlog entry.
Great points!
Belle,
I learned that a family member makes the worst teacher. I had no patience to teach my husband's mother, grandmother and aunt to sign. I gently suggested them to take ASL class. They never did. Oh well. If your mother really desires to improve her ASL skills, I think taking ASL classes is the way to go and attending deaf-related events. Interacting makes the best teacher.
Yes, I've known some CODA who grew up and realized the familial dynamics in ther families where they are closer to the speaking parent than the non speaking due to communicative barrier and develop desire to learn ASL, to move up from C or D to B. But it is my experience that many of them either don't care or do still not realize that their relationships with non speaking parents are lacking.
Yes, there are some CODAs that have innate aptitude for language and acquire ASL more easily than others.
Anonymous,
Yes, some CODA silbings vary in their skill levels. My older son makes a better interpreter but my younger son signs better. His signs are more in line of ASL structure and rules while older tend to "invent" his own signs! I will vlog about CODA's self-invented signs, inspired by my older son. However, both are in category B. Their levels of skill differ but yet both are capable of conversing with a wide range of ASL users.
Codadiva,
Yes, like I said to anonymous above, some CODA silbings vary in their skill levels. My older son is the better interpreter while younger is the better signer. I think it has to do with personality - my older son is extrovert - likes to be around people and talk, while my younger son is more reserved. He doesn't like to gab therefore lacks in interpreting skills.
My son would be a C/D. But he is one of the most outstanding lip-readers for a hearing child! While he doesn't know a lot of signs, the two of us can read each others lips over the VP without signing! Amazing!
My situation is that as a former hearing person, spoken English is my first language, so naturally I have used that more at home with my son than ASL. However, he does know and use some ASL and finger spelling with me and my deaf friends, but he is not skilled.
Yes, I take full responsibility and blame for this. When he was a baby, I taught him signs, had deaf babysitters so he would continue his signs and I voiced. I did not turn off my voice which I think is the reason the signs eventually dropped to less.
Yes, he does favor my hearing husband over deaf mom when communicating deeper thoughts and experiences, and yes, it can be sad. However, I love his relationship with his father. I love that they have their own communication together. Fortunately, my son and I are very close, and communication goes beyond language or words.
Good point and topic though.
~ LaRonda
Jon,
Good vlog! Yes, I also observed in my children that they are much more animated in their speaking styles while hanging out with friends. They use more body language and facial expressions. They are more comfortable with using their bodies to express their thoughts, what they want to convey, etc, than regular hearing children. That is part of their "deaf" hertiage. They incorporate a lot of deaf traits from their parents and carry these traits the rest of their lives.
I can see how familial and relationship dynamics affected your older daughter's skill level when you worked more when she was younger to the point that you did not interact with her as much as you do with your younger son. The same held true for my children. My husband worked a regular 8 to 5 job when my older son was born and he acquired ASL at around 9 months old....he changed jobs and worked 2nd shift when our younger son was born. He did not sign until he was around 18 months. He did sign single words like "no" and "mom". Much more limited. But once I put him in a charter school where deaf students and their hearing siblings were in same classes, my younger son really picked up his ASL and his skill level surpassed my older son's.
It is unfortunate that my husband and I were the first couple to begin a family so my sons never grew up with any other CODAs. Just now many of our friends are starting families and have pre school aged children. Such a big age gap! Oh well!
LaRonda,
Yes, that is what research shows - those hearing babies who learn ASL first do eventually drop ASL as their speaking skills develop and strengthen which is to be expected. Since you use voice when signing to your son, it is natural he would eventually drop ASL. Spoken language is his natural language.
Well, I am happy you are content that your son enjoys more intimate relationship with your husband. My boys do, too, but not because of communication mode. My husband is just like me - he doesn't speak or capable of hearing. It is the gender. I used to be very close to my boys. Younger children tend to be close to their mothers because most mothers know their children more than the fathers as they take care of them on more intimate basis, but now my sons are teenagers at 15, and 14, they now turn to their father, feeling more comfortable talking to him about intimate stuff, about sports, about philosophy because "guys understand each other." Now is when I am really sorely missing a daughter. I guess I have to wait for this phase to pass. My husbands is always saying "it is his turn." I had them when they were younger, and now he has them.
I have friends that range from age 35 to 19 whom are also parents to hearing children...
and many children of theirs are definitely type-D... even though NONE of my friends are oral or used speech. Many of their children picked up after their other parent who happen to be Hearing (deaf and hearing marriage) so they drop their ASL and relay on the other parent to communicate with their own Deaf parent. Such a TRAGEDY!
I guess I am spoiled to think that all CODAs are at least B, because whenever my deaf friends introduce me to their CODAs children, I immediately sign "HELLO! YOUR NAME WHAT? YOU VERY CUTE!" and they instead open their mouth and said: "Mommy, what does she say?"
Many Deaf parents always try to find excuses why their CODAs don't know signs... "I dont have time to teach. S/he is stubborn. I just find it easier to communicate with my inept voice because they won't sign"..
Since when a child does control the method of communication?!
I intent to keep my children, deaf or hearing, ASL-orientated and be able to communicate with me in ASL.
(Right now I am working on my ten-year-old hearing niece to BREAK her resistance to pick up ASL... she is a type-D *fingerspelling all the times*... I think ASL classes are needed for her to be exposed on a daily basis because I only see her on weekends.)
Very Interest Vlog!!! My son is coda,type A , he is more likely deaf but not. he always thinks he's deaf. My daughter is coda, type B.
DeafDixie
CY,
THANK YOU!! This is a subject that sorely needs to be discussed among deaf parents. I've told some deaf parents that they must sign to their children at all times so that they can communicate with other deaf parents. The kids are the most who lose out a lot when they don't know sign language which is a shame. Recently, I was told by an interpreter friend who went to school with a koda kid, their parents never used sign language with the koda kid, this kid was very disappointed, she had to take ASL classes in high school, but she is not as fluent as her interpreter friend and is jealous of the interpreter. She really wishes that she could have been exposed to sign language when she was younger.
My children are probably at the "B" section. My husband and I sign to them at all times as we have lousy speech, eh!
One time when I had a party, a little koda boy was here, he was trying to ask me something, he did not use any sign, it was a struggle trying to understand him, I had to call his deaf mother to come and tell me what he was saying. Of course I was disappointed because there was a communicaton breakdown which shouldn't have happened in the first place. Another time, I went to a party with my friend and her koda kid, this kid wanted a specific drink, his mother could not understand him, he didn't use sign language, it was a struggle, the boy becoming increasingly frustrated with his deaf mother, it took a couple of minutes before she finally figured out what he was trying to say, "Pepsi". Had he known sign language, he would have made several attempts at using different signs to get what he wanted.
The birth order does make a difference, I think, I'm not sure why. Some kids sign well and others don't, what causes this, i don't know. Some kids would depend on their sibling to interpret/voice to their parents as an easy way out.
Let's continue to discuss on koda/coda issues!!
I am a type B CODA, my older sibling is a type C. It must not be true in our family that the oldest child is the stronger signer. Also not true in my children, who spend a lot of time with my deaf parents. My oldest child is a type D, my youngest twins are easily a type C and the only reason I don't consider them type B is becuase they are very young and apprehensive of people they do not know, therefore they do not attempt to speak to other deaf people besides my parents, so I think it is more apprehension than lack of ability. When they are older and attempt to speak to other deaf people, they definitely have the skills to do so.
Also, it is not as if my oldest child was once a strong signer and just grew older and decided she did not want to sign. She was never the strong signer that her younger siblings are.
So, our family is somewhat reversed. The younger siblings seem to be stronger signers, both CODAs and the GCODAs.(grandchildren of deaf adults!)
Anonymous,
Perhaps apphrension occur because communication between deaf parents and codas are not strong in the first place that they don't feel confident talking to other deaf people? My kids never had that problem. They are not talkers but they understood what they were saying just fine and answered back in typical few-words child fashion. If that is what your children do - that's typical children response when engaged in conversations with strangers - answering back with few words but they do understand what they are saying and are able to answer back.
Michelle,
Indeed. I get a lot of excuses as to why their children don't sign well. I just don't get it. Like one commentor said, since when do children control communication modes at home? Parents are supposed to do control that.
Typical excuse I get is some deaf people don't believe in "forcing" ASL on children because it is not their language. Poppycocks! I bet they get that from their family members who are not too keen on their grandchildren, nieces, nephews to sign in ASL in public. Many hearing parents continue to view ASL as a communication mode and used only by deaf people, so why should the CODAs be "forced" to "learn" like the parents had? That is warped thinking imho. They are not thinking how that damages the parent-child relationship for them.
Gnarly,
I agree! Since when do children control the communication at home? Like I said above, I get many excuses and the most common is they don 't "believe in forcing ASL" on children because it is not their language. Ugh! We need to promote BiBi philosophy among deaf adults to help them better understand the identity of their CODAs because BiBi also applies to CODAs.
Hi
My son's a type B koda..he could be A on certain days, but mostly he's a B. I signed to him since day 1. My mom (I'm the 4th generation Deaf)complained that I signed too much to my son when he was an infant & toddler. She thought I was being selfish. She admitted never experiencing having hearing children; however, she thought I was depriving of his rights. I made sure he got plenty of auditory stimulation like turning on the TV sounds, radio, and I took him to children's entertainment at the mall, library for storytelling, etc. My mom was also concerned that he'd develop speech impediment. I assured her he would not. I explained that he and I would not be frustrated trying to get our messages across, thus, the importance of him signing at a tender age. When he was 18 months old, mom said wow it's so easy to communicate with him (I live in Calif. and mom was living in NY back then so she doesn't get to see him much).
:)
Hetty
Hetty
Right - CODAs do not miss out on auditory stimulation. After all, the world is hearing and full of auditory stimulation. My younger son indeed had slight speech impediment - he did not pronounce a few letters correctly but I was assured he would naturally self-correct as he became older and there was no need for speech therapy. He outgrew these speech impediments, but while he had it, he never missed out on anything or had difficuty communicating with other hearing children. This is not something we deaf parents should worry too much about.
I DO know of one CODA who actually thought she was deaf - she was the baby of 9 and 8 of them were deaf. Parents and grandparents deaf also. They lived on a farm. When she turned 6, she was sent to the state school for the deaf with all her older siblings. Her first grade teacher never noticed she had hearing but her second grade teacher caught on...sent her for audiogram. She had normal hearing, and you could imagine how severely delayed she was in spoken language. She wouldnt accept she was hearing and cried and cried about having to leave the school where all of her siblings attended. She spent her whole school career on speech therapy. She graduated from high school with full speaking capabilities. She became RID certified interpreter and was high in demand, of course. She was a family friend.
She developed the speech impediment because her family was isolated on a farm - not much auditory stimulation there. She never made the connection between spoken words to spoken language. She remembered hearing things but never understood what these sounds meant. Fascinating and quite rare.
Thank you for bring this up, very interesting topic. I am CODA with one deaf parent and one hearing parent. I am type A and have made ASL my career. My younger brother is a lazy signer and often would say to me "tell mom...". He ended up having a deaf child and I have noticed how much his signing has improved. Baby sister is type A and works as interpreter.
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